SIRB 2017

After numerous delays ., I am now finally able to go to the task of renewing my Seaman book. Took me a while but definitely I had reached it.

makeshift desk of marina booth in POEA

Normally I would settled to go MARINA office to have my SIRB renewed , but government services there are not really that good for numerous reason. One of these is the fact that they don’t accept personal appearance and I had to login on their website to schedule an appointment - problem is that the appointment schedule they give is at least two weeks away to more than a month which is not good that I had to wait for a couple weeks just to renew and would take another couple of weeks more to process and release an SIRB. Overall it takes at least a month of waiting - very inefficient. Another thing that was worst in marina is that they are overcharging seafarers in "speeding UP" processing which they call "expedite" ., Despite paying more money to them (which cost is doubled, 1500 PHP) ., they will still release SIRB on the same processing days as normal time. Imagine paying more on something that is just basically the same. Talk about scamming seafarers

So due to these hindrances I had to settle for option number 02 , renew my SIRB in POEA.

Several years back ., there really was once a "MARINA" booth in POEA building ., that lets seafarers renew their SIRB in haste. But these kind of services was discontinued for a couple of years then now again it is reopened ., I was still a witness back then that services in renewal was superb back when it was still opened

Anyway now that "Marina" booth in POEA is opened once again after nearly a decade of haitus ., I didn’t let the opportunity slip by in renewing my SIRB ., especially now that MARINA service in Kalaw street area are pathetic and poor. Honestly It was a good decision for me to renew my SIRB papers there in POEA and that I finished the whole agenda in renewing SIRB in less than 30 minutes ., probably even perhaps less than 15 minutes if it weren't for the damn photocopy machine nearby didn’t broke down. It will only take them a day to finish my SIRB processing (compared to the main marina office which will take weeks) and I'd be getting it on the following day.

So far since the marina booth in POEA is still a few months being opened ., their facilities there is still somewhat in makeshift. Which I can understand - given that there's no exact guarantee if the MARINA booth will be in permanent stay there or just for the time being until a new Philippine President comes by (or new administration) and decides later that they will discontinue such services

Traffic in EDSA is a pain as usual

to kill time while waiting ., i had packed snacks and of course my very own nintendo switch ., however since the service was fast , i didnt  need this and just went to the local mall nearby to pass time

    

LITTLE BY LITTLE

Getting an NBI law enforcement clearance could be a bit more complicated because of internet connection

Little by little ., I had begun the work of returning back again in working to a ship and had been doing steps on renewing my working papers ., My first step will be getting the NBI law enforcement clearance certificate.

Its been almost a year since I got one and getting an NBI certificated has changed little since I last got one. First off getting an NBI is still via online appointment and applicants have to pay the fee via local payment centers. Good thing making an appointment is not that hard for NBI - well at least compared to 'other' government offices.

My user name in NBI is still active and I just simply updated my profile data ., then put on the option "Visa Seaman" ., then choose a schedule on which date on an appointment and that's how easy it is . I choose the appointment in getting an NBI the other day and paying it the day before my appointment

Earlier I had problems., First was that when I choose the payment center to be "7-11" ., it did not occur to me that 7-11 store in the Philippines had always have a problems with online payments . Thankfully a good Samaritan told me at a payment center that I should book another appointment and this time make the payment go directly to "BAYAD CENTER". It was a good info and "BAYAD CENTER" never let me done when it comes to transaction payments.

Now that payment for NBI Clearance was arranged ., yet again it was stalled for another two days because of some internet connectivity issues (again). This time the problem is the connection of the data base from the NBI branch. Well no matter what the problem is its understandable given that internet connection on the Philippines is one of the slowest in the planet (seriously).

Now that my NBI Clearance has been acquired., I can now proceed to the next phase - Renewing a Seaman's book

NINTENDO SWITCH REVIEW

While the Nintendo Switch game console is already out over a month now ., it is still yet to be tested if this game console product is really worth owning by any console gamer., As of the moment while I am writing on my personal journal , The Nintendo switch still has a weak line up of third party games and still struggling for attention on third party video game maker since after its launch last march 03. Not to mention it came out on pretty much on bare bone basic functions for a handheld videogames consoles.

For the moment Nintendo Switch owners are kept busy playing "Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild" game that was bundled with the N.S. upon purchase on its launch date . but for how long ??? Now I do admit Zelda game is one of the best RPG's ever made this year (even perhaps on the whole history as of the moment) however despite the games success., it does not alone determine if the nintendo switch will be in the winning streak .,

If there is a third party game support ., it is a very weak line up of retro games which basically has any gamer scratching on the fact that they had already own some of these games in the past and yet they are being resold again ., Such example is SNK classic games like king of fighters., metal slug etc. . To simply say it’s a new game console that’s playing old games.

Surprisingly third party retro games are in support but first party retro games is still a no show and to make it worst Nintendo switch has no "backward compatibility" function which meant it’s a brand new slate and back again to zero on the gaming library. Despite this setback.,. NS owners are hoping or expecting that a "virtual Console" will be released for Nintendo switch soon that would allow them to play past Nintendo games for the switch., ( For the moment this virtual console is still in speculation )

Another notable function of Nintendo switch is that it supports "amiibo" NFC functions. Basically "amiibo" is a plastic action figurine that has an electronic swipe function that unlocks restricted game content by simply putting the action figure near the device to read it electronically.

It may sound cute that nintendo sponsored intellectual property action figures can be actually used on a videogame to give exclusive in game content to gamers but on a typical casual gamers opinion - this is simply gimmicky in nature on which Nintendo milks more money on a content that is already there inside the game and to add note amiibo action figures are quiet expensive. If ever Amiibo gets to be marketed out., it is purely for hardcore Nintendo fans and not for typical casual gamers.  

Another thing that plagues Nintendo Switch .,(and why third party game developers are still skeptical on supporting this game console as of now) is that it underpowered ., basically a Nintendo switch is powered by a custom tegra chip which from a normal persons (limited) understanding is the same chip on which powers android mobile devices., It may be formidable for a mobile device specs but for a home game console its obviously underpowered compared to the likes of Sony Play Station 4 or Microsoft X-box. Basically AAA Games nowadays require a lot of hardware firepower to run games., A fact that Nintendo switch console lacks.,

Despite lots of negative facts about nintendo switch raging from struggling to get attention on game publishers, underpowered hardware and all the way down to the use of the gimmicky amiibo. It does have some selling points. Once such is its portability ., basically / Literary games on the go., Nintendo switch handheld mode can be played on almost anywhere., just pull out the tablet console on its dock and the device will automatically be shifted to handheld gaming device . Now knowing that most gamers today don’t have enough time to stay on their homes just to play videogames - it isn't bad to take the games with you and play it outside ., and that the video game audience is not only limited to kids these days., even elderly people (above 40's) also play videogames. The retails price (300 U.S.D.) is also a selling point of the game console.

So here's the recap of Nintendo Switch

CONS

-Lack of third party support and limited games (as of the moment)

-No Backward compatibility,

-Expensive games., and hardware support equipment like Amiibo's etc.

-Lack of Software apps (as of the moment). And bare bones feature.

-Console is Underpowered ., Graphics is just somewhere in between PS 3 to PS4

PRO'S

-Very portable ., and can be played almost anywhere because of its "transformer" feature.

-Low price (only around 300 U.S.D.) on the Game Unit itself.

SHOULD I BUY THE NINTENDO SWITCH?

*Final word for video gamers is that WAIT FOR A YEAR AND SIT THIS ONE OUT UNTIL NINTENDO SWITCH's GAME LIBRARY AND SOFTWARE APP FEATURES IMPROVE. For now hype about Nintendo switch system is that it's not as competitive compared to PS4 or X-box ONE.

RETRACTION

"A retraction is a public statement made about an earlier statement that withdraws, cancels, refutes, or reverses the original statement or ceases and desists from publishing the original statement"

After days of careful thinking on the possibility of getting my leave pay or not from CF Sharp. Out of my sister's request , I went ahead reluctantly in going to CF Sharp to get my leave pay. Upon much thinking I decided to plan it very carefully as I do not know the full extent of CF Sharps wrath and persecution against it's rogue employee's like me, and the result was that I had chosen to go to Friday at about after noon break timing for the fact that most high executives are still "resting" and are lazy enough to return back for work - Friday because it turns out that Saturday was a Philippine non-working holiday, perfect timing for me.

 

On my way to Cf Sharp - I had a lot of thoughts that maybe this was a bad idea to even go and show up my face to Cf Sharp at all, and that getting my leave pay is a low priority to begin with.

 

When I arrived , I tried to go directly to the accounting department thinking that somehow they will not recognize me and that I can get my money Scott-free. Unfortunately the whole process of getting the leave pay requires me to show my face up to the admin. At first I thought it was unsuspecting given that I was told to proceed on a different building to report and that the person whom I would be reporting was different from the person I met when I was departing.

 

Everything was going find and I was unsuspecting - until a few moments later when "lizel" phone in something over and somehow I got a feeling that CF Sharp management mention to her that I'm the person they were looking for.

 

Just came in like a bomb when "lizel" mentioned and asked what was my ulterior motive in "posting" against CF Sharp in a face book groups (Tinig ng Marino). Quickly I jumped into my reflexes and remembered what my old friend "palomas" mentioned that I should tell.

 

To escape scrutiny, I just excused myself that I was not on my "right mind" at that time and I was too grief stricken at that time when I posted that, I even added for effect that pressures on work plus the death of my parents was enough for me to be "mentally unstable" at that time. Fortunately for me that excuse of "Post traumatic stress" and "grief stricken" was well received and they did actually bought that excuse. According to "lizel" , there is no longer for me to be bought in front of the CF management to face judgement and that the only thing I have to do is write down a "retraction statement" , that all the things I posted on face book was pure lies and was malicious in nature (even though it was a fact) and appeal to the mercy and kindness of the CF management , so that blacklisting will be avoided.

 

To simply put even if my reasons were a fact, I was being coerced by the CF Sharp management. Honestly it was very depriving to retract all my statements knowing on what I was saying was true but for the sake of saving my own skin, I had to do it, I was a total fool to be even writing that in the first place and that there is no guarantee that they will even hold on their end of not "blacklisting" .

 

Anyway If I did not wrote a retraction statement and plea for mercy, surely I would face judgement right infront of the higher command of CF sharp and have already known that it will not end well for me plus they will not give me my leave pay at all. So I was in a tight spot at that time.

 

When I got home , I told my sister (who was a law student) about my predicament and what had happened. Turns out that what CF Sharp did to me was actually illegal in labour law. (aside from being morally and ethically illegal as well) , the writing and signing of a "retraction letter" , the coercion , even the judgement right in front of CF Sharp Management and Higher command - all of it, was an illegal and unethical conduct against an employee. My sister added that it was very wrong of them to do such a thing and that they are fortunate that I don’t have a lawyer with me at that time or else they will be having more trouble for their coercion and unethical conduct. As far as she knows this so called retraction letter is illegal especially if you're under coercion.

 

Obviously most filipino sailors are ignorant about this , and if not only a little few knew about this. In fact I myself do not know that it was illegal that for an employer (CF Sharp in my case) to be doing and forcing people to write and sign a retraction letter, along with coercion, if CHR (commission on human rights) would even know about this then they're in for a big trouble. Anyway like I said , ignorance and suppression of free though plagues this Philippine maritime community, and that as a fact even Filipino labour unions like united Filipino seafarers lead by the mafia leader nelson p. ramirez, patronizes this kind of corrupt and repressive system, instead of protecting - the workers union here in the Philippines is the one who punishes any seafarer that would go "rogue" against his employer .  It already been a culture here in this so called maritime industry to have a draconian practice., to the point that nobody even notices that there is something wrong and that shipping agencies are too power drunk

 

MEMOIRS REBUILT

With a sudden turn of events , Messman Christopher Cemina's Father died and he requested to be repatriated and had to argue on the management over the phone. Given with the circumstances., it was all of a sudden that our wishing optimism on going home because solid when the management finally agreed to send us home along with Messman - they did agree but not without serious problems., as if like they are taking it personally.

Good thing for me I had already prepared my luggage and that I had been ready incase a situation might arise that we had to disembark on very short notice - I wasn’t wrong about that and that is what exactly happened on me. We already knew that we are disembarking but apparently nobody here on this ship bothered to tell us on what time or told us in advance on the specific.

Instead what happened was that ., they intentionally told us to finish our work first and literary tell us on the last five minutes that our replacements are coming. So what happened on me during that time was that I immediately came rushing from the deck towards to my cabin to remove and change clothes.

I hurriedly grabbed my clothes and luggage

After the surprise disembarkation (which the indian officers didn’t even bother to annouce us earlier) ., we immediately went to port security - there I was bothered that there might be open luggage serches - good thing mess man cermina assured me that fujirah luggage searches are a thing of the past and all that was going to do was simply put all of our luggage's to the x-ray machine. Simple as that.

After that we proceed to the immigration office of sort ., which I found out first hand that getting a UAE Visa takes only a couple of minutes . Contradicting on what earlier the principal Norstar was telling us that its takes weeks to arrange a visa for the crew . To simply put they were basically lying and was not even planning to send us home even if we have already finished our working contracts. During that moment , it didn’t bother me to know the truth and what matters at the moment is that we are all getting home.

After that ., our agent managed to get us checked in to a local transit hotel for a few hours before our flight . The flight tickets shown was "Philippine Airlines" which is notorious for giving very poor service to overseas filipino workers .,

At the airport ., It was unexpected for me to encounter "over weight issues" on my luggage - in fact I haven't encountered this kind of crappy treatment in years., I can imagine that even my hand carried luggage has to be exactly at least 7 kilograms and they had to weight exactly - as they have a weighting scale both on the checking in booth and boarding booth to check each passenger. Anything beyond that weight - the helpless OFW will be forced to throw away stuff on this so called "collection bin" (which is conveniently located just beside the board terminal) or pay an extra cash for the overweight fee's which is gimmicky in nature for the Filipino flight carrier to suck more cash on his fellow countrymen .

On my situation I was forced to throw away a lot of stuff because during 15 minutes before boarding time ., my back pack was weighted on a scale and it registered 17 kilograms ., I was even on the verge of throwing away two laptop computers because of this annoyance and if not for the pity of one ground which advised me to just pay the excess two kilograms.

Philippine Airlines may sound Patriotic pride to some ears on our fellow filipino but for an OFW , it is best not to trust even your own country and travel on this flight carrier . Travelling on Philippine airlines is very uncomfortable and reflects on how money hungry and a scammer (Filipino Chinese)businessmen are. Can imagine that if I would compare Philippine Airlines to a local provincial bus say like victory liner - I would definitely prefer riding a bus any day rather than taking a flight on any plane of Philippine Airlines .,

Philippine Airline is simply Horrible when it comes to the accommodations., No on-board entertainment (the TV screens on the seats) and the whole cabins is so run down and I could imagine that probably Philippine Airlines just buy a pre-owned 2nd hand planes from a garage sale somewhere. In Any case Philippine Airlines should be avoided at all cost by a filipino OFW and traveller as much as possible ., otherwise the unsuspecting traveller will be surprise on how uncomfortable and unpleasant theyre travel is.   

Two days have passed since my arrival in the airport, and once I got back to the house , I was greeted with a creepy silence of a place I once called home. Mom  and Dad as I had written on my previous entries has passed away last year with only a difference of 4 months apart, It has left a huge silence and void here, as well as a space in my heart. The place feels familiar yet it is different

I woke up as if I was in a different universe..

On my past two days I had been trying to be busy and caught up, resupplying and rebuilding my gear and luggage that I will use on my next ship. I had to replace some of the obsolete gear and swap it for a much light and more durable one and totally scarp out the totally unusable ones, aside from that update my multimedia of movies and anime. For now it's still a lot of work and I haven't even finished it by half on updating the new movies that came past 2016. As for the anime's I had been busy on buying pirated copies and then ripping off the CD's and saving the data to the external Hard Disk Drive (HDD) - I'd continue updating my anime library as much as possible while I'm still here.

As for my leave pay its still being though on how can I get it, I'm not exactly sure if  calling over by the phone to get my leave pay will be a great idea - or it will work at all. The only thing I do know is that CF Sharp will not be happy to see me when I show my face around in the office. For the time being , I'm managing the limited resources I had on my wallet and grabbing anything that might help me around. Incase CF Sharp is not willing to pay me back on my months' salary along with my leave pay , then I'd be forced to abandon it or go there personally and claim it (in the expense that I'd be massacred by the fleet manager).

Frankly I still consider going to CF Sharp office just to claim my leave pay and final wages , far too dangerous and that something bad might happened on me when I show my face up, After all its already an establish fact that CF Sharp plays dirty in the maritime community here in the Philippines and to add more on their dirty cards is that they got a corrupt workers union on their payroll called "United Filipino Seafarers" lead by the Seaman Mafia Leader named Nelson P. Ramirez. Its only on my right mind to assume the worst possible thing to happened to me when I show my face up.  

Recently I had my health checked out in private hospital (Marikina Valley Medical Hospital) and diagnostic clinic ( St. Ignatius, Centro Medical ) , I had been having abdominal pains for the past 4 months and it's really a discomfort and I need to know why. After a couple of test , I was lucky that they didn’t find anything - so I guess it means I'm still good on working in this cursed job as a sailor. 

DRACONIAN CULTURE

REPOSTING ON AN ARTICLE I HAD READ ONLINE.... HUMAN RIGHTS DISCRIMINATION ON THE PHILIPPINE MARITIME INDUSTRY.

THIS REMINDS ME OF THE DISCRIMNATION CASE IN THE U.S. COURT WAY BACK IN THE 80"S - IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN About Attorneys Geoffrey Bowers and Clarence B. Cain

Bowers was an attorney who in 1987 sued the law firm Baker McKenzie for wrongful dismissal in one of the first AIDS discrimination cases. Cain was an attorney for Hyatt Legal Services who was fired after his employer found out he had AIDS. He sued Hyatt in 1990 and won just before his death. It was made into a Film Called "Philadelphia" which stars tom hanks as the actor

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Jebsen Gamido, who was diagnosed as HIV-positive in 2009, shook up maritime institutions with his determination to pursue his rightful place on board a ship. His fight to end discrimination continues with allies in the ITF and AMOSUP.

Where am I now? I’ve just resigned from a training center where I was training manager. I’m preparing to go back on board, and putting up a non-profit support group for HIV-positive seafarers. Sometimes I receive e-mails from young men whose stories are similar to mine. When they feel discriminated, they e-mail me. I talk to them over the phone. I’m not a trained counselor,and HIV has many faces, and it so happens mine is the Seafarer’s.
If I had my way, I would’ve applied for a dance scholarship for college. Maybe cheerdance or dance troupe in University of Santo Tomas. Ang desire ko talaga is broadcast communications. But my father is a seaman, a chief cook on a ship. When I was in the Academy, when I got my OJT, he decided it was time for me to give back to the family.
When I first came to Maritime Academy of Asia and the Pacific (MAAP), I was overwhelmed. The campus was so beautiful! I thought, they’re giving me a full scholarship. My parents wouldn’t have to worry about tuition fees. So I wouldn’t call it a compromise—I just shifted my perspective.
I entered the academy at age 16. I had a girlfriend back then. I already knew I wasn’t really straight, but I loved her so much. So much. In the Academy, they try to strip you of your civilian ways. You all have the same haircut, they bombard you with schedules. You don’t have time to think about the usual things a 16- or 17-year-old would waste time on, although we get to relax and joke around in the barracks. But outside, you’re poker faced. Serious. You have to follow the commands of the seniors. They don’t allow outside communication; that’s part of their disciplinary measures to separate you from your civilian life. Eventually, my relationship with my girlfriend suffered. We broke up in my first year of college.
But you’re treated like the lowest of mammals in the first year only. In the second year, you get to express your personality, your individuality. Everyone starts to grow their hair…and me, because I was surrounded by men, I began to discover myself. But I still had to be discreet, of course, because of the environment. There was a time when my phone got confiscated. My senior said, “Bakit puro Britney and Christina Aguilera ang tugtog mo? Bakla ka ba?!” I denied it, but my batch mates knew, and I was okay with them.
You can’t avoid homophobes. They have issues about everything—like why my soap was different, or why I used body scrub. Then the seniors would trash-talk me to my juniors, which they shouldn’t do because MAAP works on a class system. Juniors look up to you. There were a lot of bullies. There was a lot of bullying.
But that didn’t stop me from being the class clown; gays, we’re naturally gay! I’m also a “dual”. That means I studied Deck and Engine. Out of 250 in the batch, there were 50 Duals, under one sponsoring company, which is Maersk. As a Dual, more sea service is required of us. One year and a half compared to the usual one year. I went on board the Kapitan Felix Oca for about six months. Friendster was big at that time; Yahoo Messenger. Everything was happening so fast, all at the same time. I was discovering my sexuality, coming of age, and we were free. That’s when I started having sexual encounters. In my mind, HIV was something far-fetched. It couldn’t happen to me. It was something that was contracted only by sex workers. Looking back, all then men I had sex with looked physically healthy. I had around five sexual encounters during my inter-island KFO days.
Then it was time to do international sea service. It was December 2009; I was supposed to board a Maersk ship in 2010. We had our medicals—and that’s when it happened.

“Me, as I was surrounded by men, I began to discover myself. But I still had to be discreet, of the environment. There was a time when my phone got confiscated. My senior said, “Bakit puro Britney and Christina Aguilera ang tugtog mo? Bakla ka ba?!”

I was diagnosed with HIV.
During that time, blood tests were done loosely—you’d get a blood test, and they’d read everything. No confidentiality. The med tech who told me I was reactive to HIV said it in an open space, in a lounge, with people behind me. “Reactive dugo mo sa HIV. Pa-confirm ka sa San Lazaro…”
I guess I’m lucky, though. Others, they find out through their agency. The reports come through computer-based systems; there’s one instance that a seaman found out through his in-law, who had access to his records. Everyone was staring at him funny when he came to the office. Confidentiality is an issue that’s related to HIV. Discrimination. Their own family members shun them, even if they’re the breadwinner.
Until now, seafarers face a lot of discrimination, and because of this, they aren’t able to find work. Under the ILO, a medical certificate is just to tell if someone is fit or unfit—but there are provisions or standards that state when you can work, which a lot of manning agencies or clinics don’t know. So some seamen deny their condition, or their papers get held up. Either way, they’re unable to access treatment. That’s what I’d like to address.
When I reported to my agency, they asked me to get a second opinion. The whole 2010 was a ping pong game. All my communication with my agency was via phone. Then afterwards, they said I should talk to the general manager. We had a closed door meeting with two more high ranking officers from MAAP. News spread. The upperclassmen knew, so did Vice Admiral Santos. They all didn’t know what to do. I was the first case of an HIV-positive cadet from MAAP. I was also the first case at Maersk. The medical clinic didn’t want to release my papers because they said I was unfit to work.
I started to lose hope. The first five months of 2010, I just cried and cried. Unlimited tears. I was so full of dreams and my family was depending on me. I had already bought a new suitcase, new socks. I was running for cum laude. My classmates called me every day but I didn’t pick up the phone. I was depressed and ashamed. Then my name was stricken from the roster. My ship, as they say, had sailed.
Around May, I decided I would stop crying. I just grew tired of it. I didn’t get any counseling, but I was spending time in San Lazaro. I got to meet people who had been living with HIV for up to five years. Some were younger than me. Parang nabuhayan ako ng loob! There’s still life after being diagnosed. That time, HIV wasn’t in the news much. After my diagnosis, it seemed to be everywhere. Until now, the numbers are rising. I’m one of those numbers. As I grow in the world of HIV, na-realized ko na wala siyang pinipili. It strikes people from all walks of life, even doctors, nurses, di mo masasabi. And since early diagnosis ako, walang complications, which is a blessing. I didn’t have to go on for years not knowing. If you don’t get tested right away, you wouldn’t know because it’s asymptomatic.
I also got referred to the Commission of Human Rights. Prior to that, I was referred to PNAC, the Philippine National Aids Council, who first implemented RA 8504. That bill protects the rights of those diagnosed with HIV. When MAAP and Maersk found out that I had access to all these people, they started to take action.
I felt neglected, ignored, and discriminated against. Maersk and MAAP even offered that they would pay for any other course I wanted to take. Kahit sa La Salle pa. But I really wanted to pursue maritime. I had the conviction, and people around me were rooting for me to continue.
My case was forwarded to Denmark. In early 2011, I was asked to report. I went onboard, but prior to that, they had someone from Singapore talk to me, tell me that they were taking a risk with me. Out of all their cadets from Pakistan, Ukraine, India, they were giving me the first chance for an HIV-positive to go on board.
I went on board the Maersk-Avon. It’s standard practice that I disclose my condition to the captain, and he said “yeah, it’s okay.” No big deal. On board, I didn’t experience any special treatment about my load of work or responsibilities. I wouldn’t like that so.
Throughout my trials, I got my strength from the Lord. I was crying on a bus home and this guy saw me. He invited me to a Christian church. I was floored. I genuinely felt that Jesus is alive—that was in U.P. Diliman, July 22, 2010. Then I was invited to a weekend retreat. Little by little, the Lord built me up again. Because I wasn’t doing anything then, I got very busy with church activities, conducting small bible groups in U.S.T. and La Salle.
Back in the Academy, I became the leader of a Christian fellowship. I couldn’t be stopped from sharing. I learned to share because I learned to love and accept myself. You wouldn’t share your experiences if you hate yourself. Later, the big bosses from FAME, PAMI—they always invite me to get involved and “be the voice” of HIV awareness. We need to talk about it! If we don’t nothing will happen.
After six months onboard, I came back, and my health was much better, my CD4 (a blood indicator of how strong the immune system is) increased. Maybe one factor was that I was happy.
When I went back to MAAP, I tried to inform the students more about HIV. I talked to them about it, tried to “normalize” HIV with them. After I graduated, took my board exams, Maersk sponsored my trainings to get my license. I thought everything was okay, but in 2015, after complying with all my trainings and forwarding all my documents to the agency, the new general manager had me called in. He told me there was a “surplus of officers.”
But I felt more empowered by that time. I admit, I also felt hurt that he would say that, after everything I went through. “Okay sir,” I said, “you’re sure this is not about my case, right? Please make sure sir.” I stated that I was in contact with the CHR. He denied that it was because of my case. But one month passed, I sent e-mails, no reply. I was worried because I had to earn for my family, I had to supply my needs. So I got a land-based job as an instructor, and my employers saw my potential. I became the youngest training manager in the company.
I was back to square one. All my struggles, all my insecurities, everything came back. So I sought the advice of an older seafarer who I admire. He introduced me to the International Transport Workers Federation (ITF), and I met Dr. Asif Altaf (HIV/AIDS Coordinator) in Pan Pacific in March 2015.
I shared my story with Dr. Asif and Steve Trowsdale. I met with them several times and sent e-mails to superiors at ITF. It was one month of e-mails, of going through every detail of my story, until they e-mailed Maersk. They found that I had indeed been discriminated. Immediately, I received an e-mail from Maersk, with the manager asking me to report. When I reported there, he shook my hand and was very warm—but the first time, he wouldn’t even shake hands with me.
He stuck to his story about the surplus of officers, that he’d call me as soon as they had on opening, and that I would have to undergo recruitment again. Okay. In my head, I was thinking, “bring it on.” This was last year, in November. I was enjoying my land-based work, but I knew I had to go back to the sea. I’m only 26. I still have time to sharpen my skills.
So I resigned in May 2016 to pursue my seafaring career. I don’t want to wait any longer.
ITF and AMOSUP asked me to put up a non-profit for their campaign on AIDS and HIV awareness—we already have a name, GPS+,  to give reference to maritime and to the “plus”—“positive”.
I want to talk to more seamen, more youth. I want clinics to be unified in their treatment and decisions about seafarers who are diagnosed with HIV. Who can they turn to? What policies should manning agencies adopt? What can be implemented in maritime schools about this issue? What else can we do?
But I really want to go back on board. I feel I need to give my story more edge, to give more impact to my testimony.

This not the end. I’m still waiting for the climax.

CLASSIFIED DETAILS

JANUARY 23, 2016 MONDAY

LOCATION: UAE , Fujairah - VOPAK TERMINAL BOUY

 

 

 

Now that the jokes regarding O.S. and Me have been cleared and is now official that I am the first batch who will be going home.

 

The latest updates about this matter is that apparently disembarkation on UAE, Fujairah is inconvenient for norstar - they reasoned out that disembarking crew here in Fujiarah is "expensive" and that this ship (and us) have to wait until this ship get to a more cheaper port for disembarking crew. Norstar even threaten us that if we insist on disembarking even thought our contracts with them are already near finished (as in less than a month left) , they will have to make us liable for the cost of our return home. - Geez what a total bastard company !!! Hope they get bankrupt soon !

 

To simply put the facts , I am not returning home soon and that disembarkation in UAE is impossible.

 

Despite the annoying news, it's not entirely bad for me. Given that not disembarking in UAE means that I don’t have to go thru the uncomfortable luggage searches, No luggage search for me means I can easily smuggle out the Motorolla GP328 walkie-talkie device without the worry of being discovered. That device I had been hiding on my bags is highly classified electronic equipment that I will need for my work later on in future ships. So having them in my luggage and smuggling it out is a must and top priority for me. I'm glad that I don’t have to go to the trouble in hiding it inside my luggage. Aside from that I can also easily get the extra accessory equipment inside the ships office on that walkie-talkie I had been eyeing now for months and slip it thru my bags,

 

Aside from all the secrecy , I will only post here on my blog and not on my face book . Probably because of the fact that it can be used against me by CF Sharp , and I do know very well that this company is just waiting for me to make a mistake to permanently shut me down.

 

Recently I managed to make a contact with one of my fellow co-workers from previous ships. We had a chat about the post , I published on my Facebook account about the shitty details norstar has been giving me for my departure this ship. Apparently from what was revealed on the details on the memo - they cannot assure that the crew will be repatriated in Fujairah , UAE on the fact that it was too expensive for them. Which boggles my mind in the sense that UAE is a free port and almost all shipping companies in the world knew that any sailor can join / disembark there with ease.

 

In relation to this My co-worker warned me that the fleet manager of CF sharp and Some short lady , apparently another manager was furious about me on my posting against CF Sharp and Its principal Norstar Ship management (see "dark side of united filipino sailors" post ) and that they have gathered enough screen capture evidence against me on my bad mouthing against them on facebook  , Based on what my co-worker said - they invaded my FB account (which I was posting publicly at that time, Sept 2016) and got anything they can grab against me . My former co-worker said right now, I should be careful in publishing anything against CF sharp and that if he was me on that position , I would not dare even show up ever in cf sharp office ever again, He said that before he was deployed , he was suddenly called in the CF sharp office and was asked if he knew personally my user name, he replied "YES" and that’s when the Fleet manager and Some lady manager went ballistic. Based on what he said , those managers were making Death threats and intimidation - saying that "they'd had me murdered onboard " and that all my activities are being monitored in case I plan to cause trouble , and the worst threat of all is that there are saying that they will have me blacklisted.

 

He also added an advise that if I don’t have anything important to get on CF Sharp office, I should run as soon as I get in the Philippines and never show up ever.

 

This info bothered me a lot and I never knew that CF Sharp will be bringing up this issue again. I already said my apology to "Mr. Lawrence" about this matter last sept - oct 2016 and figured that this issue was all over , However apparently I'm wrong and that it seems that CF Sharp is not content on my apology and wants to hunt me down for being perceived as an active threat.

 

VIDEOGAMING

January 10, 2016 Tuesday

Location : United Arab Emirates, Fujairah

 

 

 

 

New year's day just came and went , and up to now there is still no clear answer on the specific day on which I will disembark on this ship. Norstar hasn't given any details yet on when and how are we going to disembark . The only detail given as of the moment is "last week" of January. Apparently this has been my case, which norstar had made it clear and that if we were going to disembark earlier than a month left on the actual contract , were going to have to pay for our own repatriation fee. In other words, "Early Vacation" was a total lie from the very beginning and that "Finished contract" is still going to be the overall status on how are we going to get out on this ship. Anyway this is not surprising for me given that Norstar from the start was a total bullshit from the very beginning we started this contract.

 

Aside from the annoying situation , it is rumored that disembarking in Fujiarah UAE is not exactly the most comfortable port for off signer's. According to what I heard from oiler Esguerra, sailors here have their luggage's searched and have to manually take out each item on their bags and then putting it back in one by one. For typical sailors this would not be a problem , but in my situation - I have some "special" equipment that I "permanently" borrowed from this ship like Motorola gp328 radio's and some other stuff. (Not to mention numerous electronic equipment). In any case this is extremely uncomfortable on my situation and have to resolve on other ways in hiding this in my luggage.

 

In the meantime while I'm trying to solve this problem - this ship has left it's anchorage in UAE is now bound to go to Al jubail in Saudi Arabia to get some cargo., Latest news up to now is that there will be two loading ports for this, after that its either this will be unloaded back to UAE or will go to Singapore.

 

In other news

 

It has been 17 years since I last played any console video game, and finally after that very long absence, I am now contemplating on whether or not I should buy a console to resume my old (childhood) hobby which I abandon almost two decades ago. I remember during that time that the leading video game console systems back then was Nintendo 64, Playstation 1 and Sega Saturn. Obviously a lot has changed during my very long absence and videogame systems now are more complex than ever before.

 

I had been planning for now on what kind of video game console system to buy,  whether it should be a home console like the nintendo switch or a handheld type one like the playstation vita.

 

Here's my dilemma

 

I needed to buy a hand held gaming device for my video game hobby, since my PC, has its capability reduced on the battery life and there is no assurance that it will replaced by a gaming computer anytime soon. On top of that I need to reduce the bulk and weight of my luggage for future work

 

If I would buy a Nintendo switch, it's a home / handheld videogame console hybrid , which meant I can play games on the go even if I'm onboard - which is a plus for mobility. Bad side is that the system console is too underpowered in today's standard and a bit overpriced compared to today's Home videogame consoles , and the library of games for Nintendo is somewhat limited compared to playstation 4 and microsoft xbox, my guess is that it's always first party games and little third party game developers. The initial Videogame titles announce to open alongside its launch is only around 5 games, which has little to choose plus consoled get outdated and replaced every 5 years or so.

 

If I would buy a Playstation Vita , which is a handheld video game console, The Device is already considered "legacy" category which meant it's an old system, library of games would be fixed and probably no / or little new videogame titles would be produced in the future, but the pool of games is already large even before it was considered to be "legacy" . As for the price its basically almost the same 

GUNSMOKE

December 28, 2016 Wednesday

Location : enroute to Fujairah UAE

 

 

Lately I had been diverting my attention and loneliness to social activism.

 

recently the events in the maritime community at the moment have been turbulent, or more like a "social media civil war" amongst Filipino sailors . It all started when a Worker Union leader named "Nelson Ramirez" (the person I mentioned on my journal entry February 2015) made an insulting statement and declared that "people who used a referral / backer system , to get employed are nothing more but a Pathetic class type of people" and that "only people who came from elite maritime schools like PMMA, MAAP, Nyk etc are the only ones worthy of being a sailor" 

 

This caused a huge uproar on maritime college students in the social media, and immediately the topic in nelson Ramirez face book group became trending. He received lots of criticism and from these kids and, as a retaliation he tried to suppress the freedom of speech by kicking out / banning FB users and critics on his Face book Group - which eventually lead more outrage not only to college students but to other Filipino Sailors as well.

 

And that was the start of the first internet social media gun smoke, and a few minutes later I saw a post on another Facebook group , saying to the public that maritime college students should rise up against Ramirez. Although I'm not a college kid anymore, I do personally support their cause and probably because out of personal vengeance (as what happened to me by the hands of UFS and Ramirez, when I complained on CF Sharp, see "the dark side of UFS entry" ). I was the first to respond on the call and immediately drafted out a propaganda speech to be posted on any known seaman's Facebook group that is not controlled by nelson Ramirez. The propaganda speech I made is just basically baseless accusation, but in some extent maybe even half right.

 

As for safety of my identity , I Figured that I should use a dummy account instead, and use one dummy account I haven't used in a long time and as soon as I was finished with the speech, I posted it immediately, My main goal here is to fuel the desire of kids for revenge against the insult Ramirez said in Facebook . After a few hours , I received a positive feedback to the readers. Everybody in the social media is in an uproar, and was motivated and continued to bombard nelson Ramirez with hate remarks in the social media, even on his FB group "TINIG NG MARINO". In fact I may have even given some of the other FB user the basis on why they should hate Ramirez and gave them an impression that he is an extortionist / Mafia kind of guy. The speech was perfectly brilliant, and made him very infamous to the angry crowd.

 

Of course Ramirez responded on his FB group "Tinig Ng Marino" with a brutal crackdown on his critics and summarily kicked and banned scores of angry fb users, even people with neutral comments were not spared on the crackdown and also ended up being kicked or banned - which is good in some extent that it added more numbers to the angry people against Nelson Ramirez. The more he indiscriminately kicks / bans people - the more the numbers are added on the people rebelling against him, very beneficial in spreading all the hate.

 

This continued on for a number of days and I was busy also in spreading my speech in almost every seaman fb group I could find. To add more as an extra effect, I made a simple poster to cement the impression to the public to make him look like he's a traitor - it was just a simple poster made from MS paint program nothing special and not too complicated to use. I spread it using a dummy account and make it viral as much as possible on any known FB Filipino seaman groups out there.

 

The public effect when I posted it on the social was a tremendous success and soon gained public attention and infamy amongst UFS fanatics. Nelson Ramirez was so furious that he was posted on his public group an announcement challenging the person behind it to face him in the open and show evidence of the accusation on the picture, Of course this was only a ruse for him knowing that he can't clearly identify who is behind it - total protection on being anonymous.  Whatever he did was already too late and most people who already saw it , had recognize the accusations and implanted it on their minds to  be a fact. Total character assassination, He was so disoriented on the attacks that he was indiscriminately pointing the blame to anyone he saw as a threat like college students , critics - anything that’s opposed to his idea's

 

For me vengeance was very satisfying and totally nailed Ramirez to the core, Obviously the black propaganda I was spreading was short lived but successful victory. A few days after I spread the speech and the picture , the dummy account I was using was disabled - probably UFS fanatics have to report to face book to permanently shut it down. Although that the dummy account was totally destroyed in the process, it is considered to be a calculable loss and worth the trade rather than the enemy will know my personal details and use them for  retaliation on my private life. 

 

Given with its success, I'm planning to create a blog - one which is totally "Unblockable" and out of reach on any jurisdiction of Facebook. Realizing that facebook has limitations in propaganda such as post or dummy account getting destroyed. I plan to use a blog as a means on spreading propaganda.

 

 

 

 

 

 

INCOMPLETE CHRISTMAS

December 25, 2016 Sunday

Location : Enroute to singapore

 

Much has happened from my last entry, Christmas day has arrived, this day has to be a day of celebration but I can't exactly feel happy and to be honest its empty , very empty and incomplete. Probably because this is the first Christmas that my parents are gone, and I had a lot of flashbacks every now and then of the life I had with them before I came this ship. Now the feeling is just simply empty knowing that they're dead and its only me and my younger sister around.

 

Probably id be having a lot of adjusting at the house when I get back, trying to move on with life and see how things work out for me. I just don’t feel like smiling at this moment, but again merry Christmas.