HARDWARE IMPERFECT

For the moment things have turned upside down for me, first off was my gaming laptop HP broke down very recently due to suspected battery reasons. Second is that I can't play "Call of duty : modern warfare" videogame together with my crew mates because of this. In other words my hp laptop is pretty much useless and finding a replacement will take some time and money. i can still play games with my tablet PC  acer but the graphics fell short compared to my HP laptop.

I tried to restore It and reformat my computer thinking it was some sort of virus but apparently it didn’t work and the worst part was that all the system updates I made was deleted. As in all of it. I was back from scratch and asking help to my crew mates was not helping at all and ended up me losing more data on my works. Fortunately for me some of the data that is stored on my HP laptop is backed up using my acer tablet pc including this diary , so my diary / journal  data loss is the least to worry about. In the meantime I will be using the lenovo laptop temporarily to update my journal while my Hp laptop is out of commission.

I'm thinking a number of solutions about this and my HP laptops situation hasn't made any progress, power is still a big problem. I'm starting to think that I should be buying a new one instead of repairing it. My laptop as only been around with me for less than two years and yet it hardware easily got degraded. Somehow I'm starting to think that HP brands are inferior to any other brands. I'm still yet undecided on whether I should buy a new one or repair this HP when I get back home in the Philippines.

I could buy a new laptop but I still have to save at least a month's salary for me to at least get a 900 U.S.D. budget to buy a high end gaming laptop. Repairing and bringing my HP laptop could be much easier and cheaper in some extend than buying a new one but the problem lies on the "service centre's" and repair shops in the Philippines. Most shop's in the Philippines including the ones who are located inside the malls have been reported to be a chop shop and cannibalize branded computers. Replacing them with substandard and inferior parts. Another option I had been thinking with is buying a new one in the Philippines , in there I could make a proper selection what I really want to buy as a gaming laptop, the only problem in there is Gaming laptop prices are higher compared to the U.S. for some reason and that there's a possibility that the selection of computer there isn't as extent and updated as it is in the united states or in europe.

Tsk ! If I haven't just bought only the "action camera" (used for surveillance and education purposes) I could have now enough money by now to buy a brand new gaming laptop, I guess there's nothing much to do as of the moment but wait and be patient on using a tablet PC for the moment.

In the past few days there have been changes regarding on my work, apparently folks on the deck decided that they have to transfer me and change job descriptions and as a result I am now doing work as an O/S - O.T. instead of O.S. theo. Personally I did not met this sudden change with enthusiasm - because of two reasons, one is that im going home soon and I should focus my attention in preparing to go home, for me doing work as an O/S - O.T. is just another unnecessary distraction.  Second reason is that I'm used in working as an O.S. and being just an O.S. is not bad at all compared to being an O.S. - O.T. or A.B. , being a plain O.S. means that I have plenty of rest hours and rest days to attend to myself and my well-being (health).An O/S - O.T. and A.B. does not have any holiday at all in practice. I was forced to accept the new work description because of the fact that I receiving the money called "watch keeping allowance of 100 U.S.D." on the previous months without actually doing watch keeping.

Anyway I hope that this work rotation is just temporarily and that this will be over soon within a month , otherwise I'm screwed.

Lately I took interest in watching anime shows (on whatever that’s left of my free time ) and been currently hooked up watching it. The japs have really had a way to capture audiences on their anime, I was never a fan of any anime but given with my circumstances that I'm "imprisoned"  and have nothing  much to do but watch. Well for the record I did enjoy watching those cartoons and it’s a good pass time indeed.

On the past few days I was on watch keeping , my health was faltering a bit and my sleeping pattern was all but messed up. I'm not used to the rotational working schedule of an A.B. that is working 4 hours in the day and another 4 hours at night. Back before I was on watch keeping , I usually enjoy 8 hours straight working and the rest of the hours of the day as a straight rest , since the disruptions I had problems in adjusting on my new temporary working schedule. For now I had a bad cold and an occasional cough every now and then and with some chills - flu like symptoms. I asked 2nd mate Olan for some meds and he  gave me some anti-flu tablets called "bio-flu" (local medicine in the Philippines) which is a combination of nasal decongestant , antihistamine and analgesic anti pyretic  med. Not exactly the thing to rid of my flu but something to take the edge off on the symptoms.

In news related to work.

It seems that we have a new captain on Conti Agulhas and that our current captain just only stayed here for  roughly two months , apparently from what I heard on the crew the recent departure of Captain Romaniuk was that it has something to do on the twelve new tanker ships NSB will be launching soon. From what I heard Captain Romaniuk will be one of the captains that will fetch the new ship from the dry dock. I had no other details on these new twelve tankers ships of NSB . The only thing I knew is that this will be launched probably new year or before this year ends. In the meantime our replacing captain for Romanuik will be Captain Gorge Pornitiche , my former captain from Conti Greenland.

I'm ok with Captain Pornitiche since I had work with him on Conti Greenland before. In fact He's more reasonable and lenient compared to the other two ship captains I had encountered here in Agulhas.

Last saturday on this we had some sort of barbecue party at the poop deck , nothing special but this is the first time in six months that a barbecue party was held at all. Somehow our former captain Sorin and Captain Romanuik is not very fond of these at all. From my understanding Captain Romanuik says that barbecue parties are just for children , the same thing goes with captain sorin. Its fortunate that Captain Gorge Pornitiche don’t mind at all on these barbecue parties. Barbecue party was great to be honest

As usual pre caution, nobody in the crew carried a digital camera nor cell phone during the party. ABSOLUTELY NO PICTURES OF ANY KIND. , certainly there isn't anything wrong about taking pictures during the event but apparently from what I heard in this company there is are some ship official's that got a bad rep and got reprimanded years back when "pictures" of their party leaked out in the social media and this principal company saw it. I'm not sure why CSM / NSB took those harmless pictures in a bad way but it was clear that they don’t like their crew having fun at all.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

CYCLE OF A NIGHTMARE

Entry log AUGUST 30 , 2015

La Havre, Normandy France discharging operation went real quick, as in only 20 hours of discharging. We started off practically 2 am in the morning , when the French pilot boarded and ended 48 hours later on the same time.

La Havre is convenient to go on shore leave on the seaman's Centre, and the transportation is basically free, probably I suspect that after visiting the seaman's center , I could practically go around and visit the surrounding place. Unfortunately due to short of time , I never got to go ashore and see the surrounding place (and neither any crew) - made the next time I visit this place I can go on shore leave and see how beautiful la Havre is.

Internet in France is very convenient compared to any nearby European country I seen so far , they even surpassed the Dutch and Germans when it comes to internet service. The internet is fast enough to use and truly unlimited for 48 hours which is good for heavy downloader's like myself. Internet in France is very much the same to the Philippines when it comes to charging their customers , which is based on number of hours used and not via bandwidth.

As for the news on work …

For the moment, I'm trying to avoid 3rd mate Keith as much as possible for being such a dick during unmooring operations on la havre locks. I had a feeling that one day this little gremlin will be a monster to reckon with in the years to come, and for some hunch I sense in him arrogance at an early age, anyway it only proves on my theory that most Filipino sailors start out good people them become asshole when they get to be ship officers. Honestly It never occurred to me , he'd be a dick during unmooring ops. But ever since he got a promotion as third mate , he soon started to have air in his head at a very fast rate. I was totally caught off guard went that prick scolded me when I already let go of the mooring wires early inside the split drum when it's picking up tension.

To make more of the insult. dickasaur , scolded me for the second time a few minutes later.

Anyway he's not going to be my problem anymore after Conti Agulhas if he ever decided to be just another Asshole later on - its NSB crew's problem not mine. The only thing I could care of is focus on my upcoming vacation and wanted to have quality time in the Philippines.

This incident will definitely cause friction and tension between me and 3rd mate Keith, and it's obvious that in the days to come I'd have a less friendly approach with him.  Anyway for everyone's info this will be the second incident that keith became a dickasaur , the first one was in Dominican republic about dropping a mooring wire again.

In other news ….

Apparently from what I heard on the recent departure in la havre france, the time of travelling from La Havre to Amsterdam is just as short as 18 hours, in other words there's little time to rest and wash clothes., So after the unmooring operations early in the morning , expect that we will be berthing in Netherlands sometime late at night in the same day.

About news on work.

It was a surprise that I was given a time off at work on my birthday, I hadn't expected at all that I would be granted such time. Seriously It never occurred to me - not at all. I guess I should thank chief mate Oleg for having me celebrate my birthday. Strange and ironic isn't it , that kindness is given by the people whom you least expect , Compared to my own kind years before I was never given a chance to have this. I guess strange things are expected to people whom you least expect

SINCERE HEARTS

Entry log august 29 1984

Happy birthday to me ! Happy birthday to me , happy birthday , happy birthday , Happy birthday to me - you old dinosaur.  Well cheers to me , I am now officially an adult , and an old hag. Years passed by and I hardly felt that I'm now a fully grown Hag errr…. dinosaur errr…. I mean adult by now. Seriously It never occurred to me that I have now reached that age and since it's my birthday. I am not going to write anything about politics or any other worldly affairs in the maritime community and on work , I can write that on the latter - for now I'm writing on something philosophical , something to think about on my life and what I had been through.

For now despite my advance age , I haven't gone anywhere in life beyond "settling down" - For now I could say that I'm a full fledge standalone bachelor. A lot of people at my age (and younger than me) are now saying that I should live in peace now and settle down , but of course I would really love that but apparently the situation I had been through in all those years are somewhat hostile for me to thrive and as a result my progress in life is has been suffering from "arrested development" . From my overall observation , I am ten years (give or take) late on what I should had been doing in life.

Anyway , for now I am going to write about my love life since I'm already an adult (and it's my blog anyway )

(MY) Love Story

So when does love begin ? Some people say that love begins during high school or maybe even in college , the thing when you're old enough (as in really old) to handle a connection with someone. Honestly I don’t think love starts at that period, it starts at an early age. People and society tend to ignore and this dismiss it entirely as some childhood fantasy , maybe so but perhaps they always brand this because they never understood it entirely nor even be open in talking about it.

For me love starts at an early age. Despite ages have already passed, I still remember my very first love and her name.  If my memory serves me correct I was in the third grade with her and she was my seatmate , things didn't exactly progress between me and her other than being classmates and just friends but it was very obvious that I like her a lot. Sadly things will never progress any further on the fact that both our parents hated each other.

The next love interest I got myself into was in the following year. On fourth grade , I met her at school and had been good friends since I lend her my notebook and helped her out on her homework. She has short hair and always wear a "head band" accessory on her hair. I still remember that her favourite class subject was science (same as mine) and dreams of being an astronaut someday (me a scientist) .

The most awkward moment between me and her was that one day our teacher caught me day dreaming and staring at her in the class room. Worst part was that the whole class saw it and instantly figured out I had a crush on her. She was so embarrassed at that moment that I saw her face flushed red. Sadly me and her got separated when she moved in on another country (her classmate told me it was in Australia) at the school years end. I never or never got to confessed to her my true feelings.

On the middle fifth grade and sixth grade, My love interest back then didn’t started out exactly as "friends" . She was basically more like a school rival or in some ways an opponent classmate, we competed on almost anything from grades to all the way done on the teachers attention. Turning point on our rivalry was one day I caught her cheating on one of our exams and told it to our teacher, I felt terribly sorry on what I did and should have turned a blind eye on it   after that incident i decided we had to have a heart to heart talk about it.

I guess little by little we got close to each after that until we became good friends and in some ways a romantic interest. Our classmates would always tease us being a couple. We were both happy at that time. I guess the mistake I made during those happy times was I should have decided to stayed with her all the way till high school. It was a big mistake for me to swap her with my ambition to join some elite high school during those times, a mistake that up to now i regret and had to live with. I still remember that day she asked me if I'm going to stay on our school and join her in high school, I said that I'd be changing schools for high school.

High school was a very turbulent time for me and was constantly plagued with problems both back home and at school. It was for the best that I shut myself out and my heart from all those problems, I fell in love I guess on the last parts of my high school years and it was all by accident. Never imagine her to be my dream gal at all, actually I just treated her as an "Assigned" (or arranged) prom partner, since proms here in the Philippines get "assigned" and not exactly invited or asked out like in western countries, yes I fell in love with her inadvertently .  Anyway I had got no option in backing out probably because of school pressure from our school advisor (teacher) , I back out - my reputation will terribly suffer and my grades are already falling apart back then , I had no other choice but to accept - reluctantly. Prom day came and wasn't really looking forward to it, but the thing to make me have a change of heart was that she was nice to me throughout the prom, took me by surprise and normally didn't expected to be treated nice.

It was a very romantic relationship ,though officially we never declared to be boyfriend and girlfriend. It lasted until my early years in college, but like any other sad ending in a relationship - we separated ways due to major difference on how we view our relationship.

I guess that will be the last time that I really feel in love head over heels with someone.

Over the course of the years my romantic love live fell dark and silent because , I was kept busy and left rebuilding my life on the aftermath of a series of domestic problems. Things were so bad back then that I had to set aside everything and focus on picking up the pieces reconstructing on what's left of my life, it was not even certain that I would finish high school or even reach college at all.

I got my hands full on those hard years focusing on necessity and survival, there is absolutely zero time and monetary budget to even create and maintain a love relationship. This hardship dragged on until I was back in college some years after. Although I was practically afloat , funding on my college could not sustain any romantic relationships.

For me the Filipino society is backward when it comes to love compared to other Asian countries, probably too conservative in the wrong sense. Anyway I don’t exactly think that love starts somewhere on college or beyond it, and don’t really believe in being too young to fall in love like most adult always say. For me they're saying that because they're so full of hypocrisy and never get to understand young people. Filipino Society is very judgemental on that fact, and very medieval. 

I haven't found her yet , and maybe there's a possibility that I never will. But to find the meaning of existence is to be that something is out there meant for me and I won't stop losing hope that maybe I will encounter her someday.

SCHOOL DAYS ANIME

Entry is based on August 26, 2015

Ship has been diverted to La havre France first, before going to Amsterdam. Apparently from what I heard on the bridge, the full discharge will be in france and the loading will be in Netherlands then slingshot its way to Ecuador. So obviously after Netherlands its going to be a very long travel again that will last for a month.

Possibly my disembarkation if this will materialize will be somewhere in south America , which will be a problem for me because of the temperature issue again. I'm not exactly sure if temperature's in that area will be cold enough for me to wear my travel clothes since I only carried clothes suitable and designed for European weather. Anyway whatever the case if this will ever be the reality I will have to make changes on my clothing style.

Currently playing network games of "call of duty: modern warfare" is temporarily suspended until this ship gets out of Netherlands, well good for me in this case in the sense that I get to spend some time doing other thing like updating my blog and other stuff. For the mean time its good that they had to suspend the games and I myself isn't exactly in the mood to play them at all for now because my game save there went corrupted and I had to forcefully start back down again to the rank of "private"  (from LT. Col.) I had to do some remedies to get my rank back again and all my equipment and fortunately for me I had an extra pc to come by so , it means I just update and upgrade my game saves using a "drone PC" . Hopefully I will get back my rank and equipment in days time.

In other news

Lately I had my interest in watching some anime material which I copied on 2nd mate OLAN's hard drive, one in particular titled "school days" got my interest probably because it’s a great drama / tragic love story. Originally this anime came from the "hentai" series but was toned down and revamped into a wholesome (well in some extent) love story. It has a great story plot, a must to watch for the non-anime (and anime) people.