Had to
admit that things right now for me are getting difficult, So difficult that I'm
starting to live on getting any scraps I could get my hands on. Anyway its no
surprise for me on this difficult situation given that I will be spending my
4th month here in the Philippines, and by logical thinking any supplies that I
had stored before I arrived here have already been exhausted. Come to think of
it my supplies actually would go as far as for this month if I haven't gave
more than half of my saving on shouldering expenses at the house, A terrible
mistake that I'm learning now because I
should have at least left half of my savings to myself. Some people say that
being selfless is not that bad , but apparently in reality it’s a lot more
complicated and it was a bad idea for me to contribute as it dragged me down to
being helpless,. (the third time for me to happen)
For the
moment , there is no news yet on when will I be sent overseas and my phone line
for the office has been silent for months now - it is not determine yet if my
company has any plans at all, which makes matters worse for me and I'm starting
to think that it's about time I do something on this grinding halt. My latest
visit on my company didn’t yield any significant results and only determined
that I don’t need to go to another Medical exam after three months , and that
validity
I had
already planned out on what I'm going to do and all that needs now is a little
money for me to reorganize and be back on track and get a local land based
job. For now given with the lack of
funding , I'm stuck on doing part of my plan that doesn't involve anything with
money like updating my resume (which I haven't done since 2012) and the
like.
This is the
layout of what I will be doing within the next couple of days to few months
(depends on the funding available and what I can find ).
PHASE A.
"ReOrganize"
*Recover My
Seaman's book (have to go to my company and "borrow" it)
*Update my Resume (I have some old file on my computer)
*Print
Resume (just go to any nearby computer
shop to print a few copies)
*Update my
Chest X-Ray (I'd probably get these in a private medical Clinic)
*Update and
get a NBI Clearance ( Apparently there's a new method so I heard)
*(Optional)
get picture ID's , both 1x1 and 2x2 in civilian attire.
PHASE B. "ACTUAL"
*Search for
a possible BPO company suited for me,
(this is a
long process actually , The criteria for me will be that it should have
facilities that are open and free to use and the companies location)
*Look for
work there on the company
*Survive
till I get the paycheck.
Sounds
fairly simple if I have the funding, but of course it gets complicated since I
don’t have it. Hopefully this will keep me occupied until things on the house
would stabilize.
In other
news…
Internal
situations inside the house have been hard and it is embarrassing for me to
write and admit that I'm already experiencing hunger and famine. In fact while
writing this I have only ate once in a day (and the same goes for yesterday)
due to the lack of available food around. Its seems sadly that mom's sickness
has already took its toll and dragged everyone down into the brink of financial
ruin. In theory and practice my sister and I could support the routine maintenance of dialysis session, but
regrettably not the unforeseen medical expenses, these combined with mom's
hypochondriac paranoia, and emotional disorder are a deadly mix. Mom took
advantage and exploited the fact that I was an OFW and that I had financial
capabilities. She squander a lot of money on unnecessary medical expenses and
thru hospitalization, instead of focusing only on dialysis session. Even the
simplest of colds or difficulty breathing was reason enough for her to spend a
few weeks on hospital confinement , even though she is medically fine as what
the doctors tell at the hospital, Didn’t matter to her that she is using the
hard earned money coming from me - all she cared about was recklessly spend.
Imagine the
money that was thrown out just because of that and it was wrong of her to put
the trust in a public hospital which never gave any medical treatment at all
but charged us with 30,000 to 50,000 PHP per medical confinement.
For me as
an OFW, I didn’t have the time to check what was going - nor even have the
capacity to see what was actually happening, given that my situation as a
sailor was very constricting to communications,. It took days before I received
anything on the satellite email and days before they received anything, and the
emails I had received barely describe on what is actually happening.
Eventually
this Mom's imaginary illness , took its toll on the long run and eventually
dragged me and my sister to financial trouble. The latest news now is that the
dialysis clinic refused to help us until we settled first our bills (which
amounted now close to 30,000 Php). Same thing goes as well on my younger
sister's numerous friends, basically her debts are left and right and most of
her "friends" avoid her because of it. I don’t have anything against
with these people nor on the public hospitals dialysis clinic refusals to help
us because those are bad debts , that needed to be addressed - otherwise it's
not surprising that they won't help us at all. Regrettably Mom wasn’t wise in
spending and resulted now in her being put on hold on from receiving medical
treatment until it's settled.
We couldn't
use this so called PHIL Health medical insurance because last month's
disastrous hospitalization, resulted in complete depletion of that insurance on
reserved for at least for 6 months. She just used it all in one blow on the
last hospitalization.
There are
days that I just simply wish to wanted to end and "fast forward" on
to the next, however it only meant to be troubled again on the next day to
replay the horror of starvation, A repetitive and looping nightmare. Most of
the days (actually already a month now) , I just went to my pc and spend my
time there and played games , hoping that the hours and days would simply be
over soon. It worked for a couple of weeks as a diversion but then again video
games is just a retreat from unpleasant realities through fantasy - never
solved anything , just delayed problems.
Anyway it's
all said and done. Despite my rambling on this writing , I have to face these
and resolve in any way possible. All I can say is that my house is a mess right
now.
