Every
time I wake up in the morning , it is usually filled with dread and anxiety
probably because I have to get job orders from the chief mate (Merk to be
specific). Usually I don’t do this at all , but on this time my situation ( and
the first ever) is very different. Not even the conflicts I had been on
"Cape Tallin" can ever scope this, I had problems on the incident
"Cape Tallin" but it didn’t amount that my job orders would be
suspended or affected compared to this one.
In anycase , I don’t have any choice but to manage my situation and at
least hold long enough until the month of April for me to send an "Early
Vacation request"
This
is the number one cost of my anxiety right now, and I think it won't away until
the unpleasantness is removed.
I
really hate this feeling of anxiety and dread every morning.
In
relation to this ….
Looks
like chief mate merk has changed schedules now and is now working on the 12 to
4 time schedule. I just recently found out when I went 5am early in the morning
and saw that it wasn’t merk at the bridge but it was the other Bulgarian chief
mate., He told me that merk changed schedules until this ship arrives in Saudi
Arabia.
In
other news ……
Took
only 30 minutes of my time to finish the remaining task to clean up the life
boat and Chief mate merk had me to redo some of my work to finish of that
stains , anyway I'm glad I had finished the task and now moving on to the next.
For the next two days I was doing none essential maintenance work , most was a
light job of cleaning drip trays and removing some oily black stains of on the
"fish plate" area on the ships side.
I
also found out some info (from O.S. Dalida) that Chief Mate "Merk"
will soon be replaced by some Russian Chiefmate. This news was on my feeling a
mix of relief and "What will I do next". Relief in the sense that
once "Merk" is gone , Pumpmans Carnaje's aggressiveness on bullying
and harassment will be expected to be
toning down or at least he will be thinking twice before making any aggressive
action. Without Merks protection , he's probably going to be careful in his
moves and having a "neutral" chief mate will definitely even out the
odds for me. (Apparently Pumpman Carnaje and Chiefmate Merk are really close ,
so close that I suspect he is also behind and responsible for my miserable
situation right now and that they are ganging me up )
On
the "What will I do next" part., this is the part where I have to
think a lot because job orders that I got came from Merk and without him , I
left on which chieft mate will I get the job orders next . This is basically a
win all or lose all situation for me , on the part that I'm not sure if the new
incoming chief mate will still give me job orders or just throw me back and
left me leaving to find job orders. If he does accept giving me job orders then
I can at least get reassured that stable work will be at least until april -
enough time for me to send an early vacation leave request , for me to leave
this ship by month of May.
